Missing Half
by LoveWillLiveOn4ever
Summary: After the death of Bella in Breaking Dawn, Edward had left after losing his beautiful Bella and leaving Renesmee behind. 6 months past and Renesmee is almost fully grown and hasn't anything about the father that left her with her family. After getting no answers from her family, she finds Edward's old journals to try to track him done, and be with her missing half.


_Renesmee's POV_

I remember being inside my mother, and hearing all those voices outside. One of the voices I loved to hear was my mother and father's voices they sounded like a lullaby, slowly helping my feel calm and relaxed. Whenever I heard others trying to convince my mother to take me away, I could hear her heart skipping a beat. But she always refused to the idea. I adored my mother keeping me safe and warm, I never had one complaint about anything while I was inside her. But sadly what I had to learn was that all good things had to come to an end.

When I was out of the warmth and comfort of my mother I could feel the coldness of the outer world, a feeling I'll always be accustom to. For the first time I saw my father's face. The coldness of his hand cooled my body sending chills throw my tiny body, but I didn't care the coldness felt nice and familiar. Right when I cried for the first time showing that I had some life in me. My father slowly said my name.

"Renesmee. Renesmee." He repeated to me.

Was that my name? Before I could get the thought through he handed me to my mother. The way she cradled my in her arms was so warm, familiar and smooth like laying down on a bed of silk pillows and blankets. I didn't take much thought into my mother's appearance, but she looked so sick like death was slowly take her away with him.

"Renesmee. So beautiful." She told me holding me close to her and I guess my instincts got the best of me, and I bit her. Before I even knew it, I was out of her arms and in someone else's arms. I cried to try and be back in my mother's arms but it never happened. The woman, whose arms I was in, rapped me in a soft and warm blanket and she sat down on a chair by a beautiful, warm fire. But I could hear father begging and pleading but I didn't know what for but I could hear my mother's heart beat slowly come to a stop. The rest is predictable.

_6 months later__…_

I woke up from the sun's bright razes that kept hitting my eyes. I tried to cover my head but my skin just wouldn't stop sparkling like glitter. I finally gave up, and walked over to my dresser getting ready for school. I got my school uniform out and on me, and tried to get my hair done quickly so Rose can take me to school on time so I wouldn't been left outside and locked out, the school had a strict thing about being on time. Even if you were a second late you'd get detention for a week.

"Knock, knock. Older, strong, handsome and wonderful brother is here, and don't try to attack me with a pillow again." My jock head brother, or rather my uncle, Emmett said leaning against my door frame.

"Go away Emmett. Tell Rose I'll be down in a few minutes I just need to get some books okay." I said packing random stuff in my bag.

"K. Hey Carlisle says to drink your deer blood." Emmett told me throwing a bottle of blood at me.

If you haven't guessed yet I'm a vampire. Well only half vampire, Carlisle told me him and Esme had me when they had me when she was human and that a few weeks after her was badly injured in a car attack so Carlisle changed her into a vampire.

But sadly from them I knew the truth. But I give them points for trying, when I was little I did believe it but when I looked four years old the truth wasn't that hard to figure out.

I drank the bottle within a minute and throw it in the trash can.

"There, now can you move so I can head to school you dumb jock."I said pushing him aside so I can get to school and get the day over and done with.

Once I was near the main stairs I saw the room I was never allowed go into. I believe it's either Carlisle private study or a room of one of the others in our coven who die or ran away. I was leaning more towards the room that belonged to someone of the family who ran away. Before I could notice Emmett put his hand on my back guiding me to the last flight of stairs.

"You know you can't ever go in there, alright kid." Emmett said with a sad look on his face, it looked more than sad though, it looked hurt and sorrow.

"Yes Emmett." My voice couldn't hold the sadness coming out of it. I looked back at that closed door. I couldn't help but think what is in it or who was in it.

When I got down stairs Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme were waiting and get everything ready for me along with themselves.

"Morning Renesmee." Esme said hugging me as I made my way to the table for an apple.

"Morning Esme." I said faking a smile.

Rosalie and I were finishing packing up my book bag, then we left to take a thirty minute drive to my school. I hated it. My school was all the way in Seattle and it's an all girl school, and every last one of them is a snot nosed bitch with an attitude problem. Plus the classes are not worth the money my family had to put into it.

Once everything was ready and on its normal course everyday for five days. Rose and I left the house and got into her car, leaving and driving all the way to Seattle.

Rose, and everyone who drove me to school, tried to make conversation. I would nod, say yes or no, but they never really got a full, straight answer from me. They all know why I acted like this but, the subject never really came up.

The story Carlisle and Esme told me about my birth wasn't completely false. My mom was human when she had me and was badly injured but… she didn't making it to see me now. But the reason I acted the way I did was… father related. Everyone talked about my mother, how lovely she was and beautiful. But my father never came up… ever. I could put together when I was born my mother was very ill and when I can out of her stomach, she became worst and died. My father frustrated and felt alone and crushed ran away leaving me behind.

Whenever I asked about him, they said he always needed time to think things through properly. Sadly, I thought six months was enough to think things through.

Rosalie dropped me off at school and drove away after I left and went into the school. As usual, all the girls gave me the evil eye, and angered looks. I walked fast toward my locker hoping to get to class so I wouldn't get anymore looks. When I opened my locker, I throw my books into my locker not really caring. When I looked into the mirror, which was provided to every locker, I just looked at myself.

I was very beautiful in a way. I knew half of it was from the vampire side of me, the rest was genetics. My bronze hair was wavy like Carlisle's and went down my mid back. My skin was a rich ivory color, and looked and was very soft. My eyes, unlike the rest of my family, were chocolate brown color that I inherited from my mother. I was around five feet and six inches tall, taller than most girls my age. The way I looked was the reason way every girl here hated me. I looked like I should be walking down a catwalk wearing all kinds of designer clothing, be on the cover of a magazines, and be dating some actor whose name is known worldwide. But that really wasn't who I was.

The day seemed to drag on slower and slower by the minute. The classes, as I stated, were not worth the money Carlisle and Esme put into the school. Classes pasted and pasted and yet they never ended. Finally the final bell rung and I bolted out. It was a Friday and the weekend was long waited. I sighed in relief that it was finally over.

"You're a freak, Renesmee Cullen." A girl whispered quietly to me. She walked away along with her friends giggling, and looked back at me. I took deep breaths. And speed walked out of this hell hole. When I got out front and saw Jasper's car was there, I knew I would have to talk. I speed walked to his car, climbing into the back seat.

"Okay what's wrong kid?" he said looking back at me.

"I hate this school, I hate everyone in it, I hate everything about it!" not holding back the tries any longer, I let my eyes over flow with salt water that ran down my face.

"Why what happened?" Jasper hated when I was like this. Not just because he could feel my emotions, but he and I were close. For some reason Jasper and I always got along well and… he was the closest thing I had for a father figure.

"A girl called me a freak." I said, feeling more tries rushing out.

"Don't let them get to you Ness. There is not one thing about you that's freakish." He said looking back at me smiling.

"Yeah the fact that I'm half vampire, and half human isn't freaky at all." I said sarcastically.

"Ness. You're not. If want to something freaky look at Emmett's face." He got me laughing at that one. Please note, I love Emmett but it's always too easy and funny not to.

"Good one Jasp."

"Hey you know me. Plus I hate seeing you like that. Isn't not you."

That's my uncle Jasper for you. Closest friend and father figure.

The rest of the way home Jasper and I talked about random thing. Most of it was about what else I need to do for our daily learning of combat training. One reason I have to do this is since I'm a half breed, they don't think I'm strong enough to fight someone off. So far I can beat Emmett, it's not really much of a challenge. Afterwards, Rose teaches me the piano. Not to brag, I could play Bock and Beethoven when I looked about 6.

"Hey I forgot to tell you. Everyone is going out on a 'hunting' trip, so you'll be alone tonight." Jasper told me.

"Does this mean I can have a party? Cause if it does I need to get beer, weed, crack, meth, all the good stuff and condoms, cause well… kids these days." I joked. But that didn't stop his neck snapping to me when he heard "condoms".

"First of you can't have anything like those until you die. Second please don't use the 'c' word. I mean I'm not your parent but you just killed me by using that word." He said back. I swore that I saw him sweating, and fear in his eyes.

"Fine don't let me get in trouble by getting high, or for becoming an alcoholic, and having a hundred baby daddy's who won't pay child support." I joked laughing.

"Good. Plus I really don't want to try to hunt you down because you won't go to rehab." Jasper joked back.

We both laughed. He dropped me at the house than left, he told me they were heading up somewhere near Canada, and they be house around 7 or 8 so I had about three hours by myself. And before you say anything, I'm used to being alone for hours on end so don't worry.

Once I saw Jasper run into the forest, I locked the front door and went to my room. My room was really… well girly. I hated it. Apparently Alice took over as my "mother" for a few weeks and thought that I was going to be into dolls, Disney princesses and playing dress up. So my room was an eye crushing shade of pink with tiny flowers wrapped around bedroom walls, along with baby pink laced curtains and matching bed set. But joyfully thanks to my amazing uncles, they bought me a million posters of my favorite artist and actors from different TV shows, along with hiding the pink walls behind my four different book cases that Esme had bought me.

Once I was in my room, I turned up my iPod, with the mini speaker Emmett got me, and lost myself into the music of Moonlight Sonata while reading Shakespeare's Macbeth. After about an hour of reading, my human needs kicked in so I ran to the bathroom and did my business. When I finally got out, I looked at the door. The door that lead to the one room in this house I was never, for any reason what so ever, never allowed into. I tried to go back to my room but curiosity got to me and I walked towards the "forbidden" door. I reached for the doorknob, only to find it locked.

"Damn," I whispered looking around.

_Why would they lock a door? What's so important for them to lock it from me? _I thought. _Maybe Carlisle has the key in his office. _After that thought, I ran into Carlisle's office and started going thought his drawers, which is something I'd never do but hey my curiosity had token over me.

After searching after for what felt like hours, I finally found the key under many unimportant envelopes and ran back to the door. I began praying to every god I could think of, in hope to open that door. Then I heard of beautiful sound… it was the sound of the lock unlocking. Yelling yes into my head multiple times, I opened the door.

The room was white with many windows and different books scattered around the room. There were different vinyl covers and the discs themselves all taking up whatever space that the hundreds, if not thousands, of books didn't take up. I walked around and found what seemed like journals. Once again my curiosity got the better of me and I opened one of, what looked like hundreds, journals and read the first entire.

_January 12__th__, 2013_

_Charlie Swan's daughter had just started classes in our school today, and she was in my class. I thought I could handle having her sitting next to me, but her scent… her scent was mouthwatering to me. It took me everything I had within my person to not drain every last bit of life out of her. I wanted to bite her. I wanted to taste her so tempting blood on my tongue as she struggled under my hold. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't relapse back to my newborn ways. I couldn't hurt Bella._

"Bella?" I whispered to myself. _Bella? _That… that was my mother's name. Was this my father's journal? Was this my father's room?

Right then I heard my families voices, they about a mile away. I quickly ran out of my father's room and locked it again before hiding the key back in Carlisle's office. After that I ran to the bathroom and took a shower trying to lead them off my quote unquote "Trail".

"Renesmee! We're home!" Emmett's booming voice blasted through.

"Okay!" I yelled back as I washed my hair. Once I was done, I went back to my room to get ready for bed. Once I reached my room I realized that I had token my father's journal without even realizing it. Before my family came in to say good-night, I hide the journal under my mattress quickly and slipped into my pajamas before slipping into my bed. As if on cue, Carlisle and Esme entered my room.

"Alright sweetheart time for bed." Esme said, tucking me into my bed as Carlisle walked over to me.

"You have time tomorrow to sleep late and play the piano as much as you please once your homework is done." Carlisle told me kissing my forehead.

"I already did it in school." I sighed, shifting towards my curtain covered window.

Carlisle looked at me confused. "Oh, alright then. Goodnight baby girl." He smiled kissing my head one last time.

"Hey Grandpa. Grandma."

"Yes Renesmee?" Esme replied, looking at me from the door way.

"Did my dad ever play the piano?" I asked. But seeing the look that everyone in the house gave whenever I brought up my father, and knowing I wouldn't get answer out of them.

"Uh, w-we don't remember dear. Just go to sleep." Esme told me while turning of my light, leaving me with just the light of the moon to help me see. I waited until I heard everyone down stairs to bring my father's journal out of hiding. I turned my mini flash light on was I read pass all the entries.

When I had gotten to the last one, I skimmed through the words and saw my name written in it. At that point I decided to read the full thing.

_September 7__th__, 2014_

_I lost her. I had lost my Bella. My life now has no meaning without her. And I know that Bella had wanted Renesmee, and Bella would want me to stay with our daughter. But I just can't. Every time I look at her, I'm sickened by how, the murder of my wife, looked just like my Bella. The eyes I had once adored of her, now belong to my daughter. I could even hear Renesmee's thoughts when she cried. She was crying for Bella, she was crying for me. Begging for the warmth of Bella that she'll never feel. Wanting the affection I can't give her._

_I can't do this. I can't live without Bella, and I can't even look our daughter in the eyes without disappointment and anger. So I'm leaving and I don't know if I will ever return to my daughter or my family. All I want was to see Bella, but I knew I couldn't, not ever again._

After reading the last sentence, I felt a wave of emotions crash through me. I always knew I had, unintendedly, killed my mother. I knew when she was with me, her body couldn't handle me, and my desire for her blood. But I never knew how my father felt. Or even if he was every alive. But after reading everything he wrote I felt my guilt all over again.

I was a _murder. _

I killed the woman who wanted nothing more than protect her baby. I killed the woman that I would've had stupid arguments with over things like grade or boys. But it would never happened because I killed my mother from the inside, by drinking every last bit of her blood.

Before I knew it, I felt tears form from my eyes that then fell down my face. I had then realized I hadn't cried for my mom in a long time. Right then I had her Alice's voice in the living room as she was talking to someone.

I slowly and quietly, slipped out of my bed and walked down the stairs until I could hear the conversation.

"Edward we need you here." Alice said into her phone as she walked around aimlessly. "Edward you need to see your daughter at some point! You have missed everything so far. She's at school, she's walking and talking. And her father isn't even here to enjoy it!" she quietly shouted into the phone with an angry look on her face. "Look, I know you're crushed about Bella's death, we all are. But Renesmee needs you in her life. She has been ask about you since she could talk! But we can't tell her anything because we know it would make matter worst for her!" _too late, Alice._ "Edward, just come home. Bella wouldn't have wanted you to hide from your only child, your only blood relative in the world. Bella would have wanted you to see and be with her… fine whatever Edward. Stay in your cave or your rock where ever you are and don't see how much your daughter wants and misses you!" With that Alice hung up the phone in anger, without noticing I was listening.

When the conversation ended, I went back to my room and went back to bed. And for the first time in a long time, I cried myself to sleep.


End file.
